How others see me

I commented earlier this week to a friend to ‘Wake up and be awesome, because it’s amazing how a positive attitude creates a positive life.’

 

She responded that it was one of the best things she’d ever heard. That the reason she loved being my friend is because I am such an upbeat and positive person. 

I thought about that for a few days. How others see me. It kind of scares me.

Do they see the insecure girl who is blindly stumbling through life one day at a time?

Do they see the woman who is scared she’ll really screw up her kids?

Do they see the fear in my heart when I try something new?

 

Or

 

Do they see that even when I don’t know ‘what’ to do, I do something?

Do they see the woman who tries not to mess up today, the same way she did yesterday, and do they see me apologize to my kids when I do something wrong?

Do they see how I refuse to let fear define or contain me?

Do they see how confused I am most days about the right way to behave or react? or do they see me weigh my options, choosing the best for me in every situation?

Do people notice that I am a touch OCD about item placement, laundry sorting, and the proper amount of peanut butter on a sandwich?

 

I wonder what people see when they look at me. I hope they don’t look too closely, but I encourage them to. I’ve nothing to hide, and maybe, if they see the real me, it will help me figure out who I am.

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